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Find out all about Boarderline Personality Disorder

What is BPD?

BPD (Boarderline Personality Disorder to give it it's full name.) Is like it suggests a personally Disorder. Although this name doesn't really describe it very well. A much better name for it is EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder) it is a mental disorder of the brain but is also genetic. Just because you have these though it also depends on you childhood and if you had any trauma of any kind.

There are 9 symptoms but you need 5 to be diagnosed. So you see just because you have a few symptoms it doesn't mean you have BPD. You may have what is called traits.

BPD is like ordering from a menu. Ten people can be diagnosed but all show completely different symptoms. BPD is the most stigmatised of all mental health issues but also one of the hardest and most completed to diagnose and treat. But there is hope. 

DBT (Dialectical behaviour therapy) is the best way to help control the condition, although this can be very hard work it is very much worth it. But this is not always available or there are huge waiting lists or there is a cost and some people cannot afford it. Why should there be such a huge difference? Mental Health education should be free for everyone. 

So positivity is based on DBT, STEPS, ACTivate your life, stress control and my life experience. 

The big 9, what is BPD?
The big 9, what is BPD?

The 9 symptoms 

  1. Impulsive self-destructive behaviours. (Sensation seeking) 
  2. Extreme emotional swings. (roller coaster emotions)
  3. Fear of abandonment. (worries of abandonment)
  4. Chronic feelings of Emptiness (emptiness)
  5. Self harm and suicidal tendencies. (Suicide)
  6. Explosive Anger (explosiveness)
  7. Unclear and unstable self concept (constant change)
  8. Unstable relationships (up and down relationships)
  9. Dissociation - feeling out of touch with reality. (feeling suspicions)

As I tell my life story, I will be talking about my BPD and how it has affected me throughout my life. I hope to inspire others by sharing my story and show how you can change. 

My  journey of diagnosis 

I always knew I was different, I used to introduce myself as a bit crazy, it was as a sort of warning to new people who met me. But what did I mean by crazy? I meant diffrent. Crazy was the label I had been given by people when I showed emotion. Because you see I had BPD, I didn't know it. In fact until my friend suggested I had it I had never heard of it. So you see I didn't have any pre conceptions, it was not stigmatised to me. 

I was diagnosed with depression to start with but I didn't feel depressed all the time. A long time friend from school messaged me one day. I hadn't heard off her for ages and it was great to catch up. But that day she changed my life. It was 5 years ago now. She said "Babe I am not a DR. but have you ever heard of BPD? I have it and I think you might have it too." I had never heard of it so she sent me to the NHS website to look at the symptoms.

OMG life made sense at last. There were people out there that knew how I felt. Who would understand me. Who would not think I was crazy. I told my friend I think I might have it what should I do next? She next sent me to a video on YouTube called what does boarderline Personality Disorder feel like? Again I felt this is it...I can finally feel understood. I again went back and said yes I still, think I have it. What now? The lastly I took an online test. My score was 47. It said there was a very high chance I had it and to book an appointment with a health professional. I rang my Dr the next day and told her what I had found. Hannah you saved my life that day. I am forever in your debt. I am eternally grateful. The DR. then sent me for a psychological evaluation.

The appointment took ages so in between I found out everything I could about BPD. I was diagnosed at the age of 41 and given quitiepine. This was hard as it makes me very tired and I had young children. I then had an episode and was offered DBT. I didn't really take it in the first time but I was very fortunate to be able to repeat it. It really has changed my life. I wish I knew about BPD years ago because finding the problem was the answer to unlocking my prison. I have taken lessons from Steps, activate your life and stress control courses as well as  courses in psychology and counseling. 

Dr Ramani on Medcircle

On my journey of discovery and learning I have found the most extraordinary Dr. The way she talks about BPD is so insightful. I will put links to her videos below. She describes it so well.

The video below is Dr Ramani explaining the 9 signs of BPD.

Other BPD videos by Dr Ramani and Medcircle.