What have I been up to? P_M_Terror blog
Thank you very much to everyone for their support in buying a raffle ticket. The results are below, congratulations to everyone who won a prize and better luck next time if you were not successful in winning this time.
The raffle has been drawn and I am currently contacting winners in order, which is a bit of a challenge. I will post the results as soon as everyone has choosen their prize.
I will find a way.
All through my life I have struggled with my emotions and mental health, anxiety, overthinking and maintaining relationships were a problem. I always found a way to muddle through somehow, I always found a way.
I have managed to overcome things I felt would destroy me. I have learned from these experiences and grown from the lessons they have taught me. I am not sure if I believe in God but my Nan was a firm believer and as she would say. "Anna this is God working in your life". Well if its God, destiny, mother nature or the universe that got me here, I believe that this is where my life is supposed to be right now. All roads for me lead to positivity, to my empathetic, caring kind attitude, to my passion for education and helping others. The bad things I have survived and overcome, they have all made me uniquely me. This is what gives me the drive to carry on, I have lived a life of variety, I have experienced both very good and very bad. You see I understand you because I have been there, wore the T-shirt, plus taken it back and got a refund. I don't feel like a victim of my past anymore........I am a survivor.
Today is my last day of counselling. So I would like to share my experience.
To give my review I have decided to answer the question how has counselling changed me?
When I started counselling I was lost, I had built my own prison with my mind. I had been poisoned by the toxic world, it had infected me and made me toxic. I had lost my way in life, I had hit rock bottom. My kids were in care, my marriage was in tatters, I was being evicted, I had an ASBO at the grand age of 44 and my mental health was of out of control. My mental health was holding me hostage. My Boarderline Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Anxiety controlled me.
Steph my counsellor has helped my totally change my life. I now control my mental health instead of it controlling me and I have found true happiness. I have become an expert on me and found my purpose in life. I now have a life worth living and I believe in myself. I have been on a journey of discovery, I finally know who I am and for the first time ever, I am very happy to be me.
I have been to many counselors and psychologists over the years and learned many valuable lessons, but Steph helped me put all the jigsaw pieces together. I finally felt totally understood, validated, not judged or stigmatised. Then I had a thought, the reason the therapy/counselling actually worked this time is because I didn't feel judged or stigmatised and I felt understood and validated instead, I could really open up and tell her things I didn't feel comfortable telling the others. So by finding the problems and naming them together we found the answers. It was a hard journey but so very much worth it. I can honestly say I owe Steph my life. Before I met Steph I didn't have a life, I was wasting it away letting the lies from my past take over my future. I was feeling angry at the world for my mistakes, only seeing the bad and hating myself for even breathing.
I am now starting my own business Positive Mobile and charity Positivity Mobile so that I can share what I have learned and help others. I now live my life with Positivity and I believe it can change the world. Our goal at Positivity is to wipe out poverty, abuse, stigma, hate and inequality. We will be offering pro-active problem solving, life coaching, support, signposting to other services if needed and education. We need to start a positive revolution, where people are N.I.C.E. and K.I.N.D. with a S.M.I.L.E to themselves and others, where they believe in themselves and others. A future of hope instead of hopelessness.
I am an empath, a deep emotional thinker, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am a born storyteller. Some have even called me a drama queen and they would be right, by their standards. You see what they call a "Drama Queen", I call passion. I have come to believe as these as my gifts, not afflictions by which I was cursed. I am now confident enough to share my gifts with the world and use them to change the world for the better, by spreading positivity. Find out more at https://www.positivemobile.org
My counsellor can be found at www.time2reflect.wales
Leaflets and Business Cards on Order
Positivity in Pontypool
The last few weeks, I have been hard at work, designing advertising, trying to work out the next steps. I have designed a new business card, posters and leaflets. My plan is to move Positivity out into my community.
One of the problems I have identified for myself and my community is poverty. As a pro active problem solver, I have come up with a solution. I need to spread Positivity, out into Pontypool. I have started a group on Facebook to help with my plan, It's called "Positivity in Pontypool", the aim is to celebrate the good about our Town. Please join if your interested. This is a non toxic group.
Working out the details.
So for the last few weeks I have been working hard on getting everything worked out. How it will all work. How as a business we will make money? The thing is, I don't want to charge people because what if someone needs help but can't afford it. Maybe their problem is to do with poverty. I couldn't just turn them away.
So I am gonna do it the positivity way, the first appointment is free. The following appointment are on a donation basis. I will ask people to give what they can afford, or what they think the service is worth. Life coaches charge around £50 an hour. I couldn't dream of charging that, I want to help people. That's why if I work on donations only, I will still be able to sleep at night.
Hopefully people will donate enough, so that I can get some better equipment, get some leaflets and posters printed. Get of benefits, I have a tablet at the moment and do everything on free apps. This would improve the quality and enable me to help more people.
New Toxic v Positive YouTube video
The new anti bullying cartoon is now on YouTube, please like and share if you enjoy the cartoons.
Please click the link below to watch, every little helps. Thank you for the support have a positive day.
Why I think I can help?
I now live a life of positivity but it hasn't always been this way. I have BPD, anxiety and PTSD diagnosed and have been many people in my life. I have lived a full life with many, many highs and lows. The rollercoaster life, of a chameleon. I have suffered from depression and agoraphobia. I am a born survivor but have sometimes lost me. I have PCOS and diabetes type 2.
I have been married 3 times to 3 very different men. I have been used and abused. I spent 10 years thinking I was infertile when all I desperately wanted was children, I now have 3 children in the care system. I have self medicate with drugs, been the neighbour from hell (some would say) I have gone bankrupt, been evicted and done things I am not proud of in my pursuit for happiness. None of it worked for long. Then I found positivity. Sharing my story helps me heal. Plus it will hopefully inspire others. You can escape from whatever it is that is making you unhappy. You just need to believe in yourself! Join positivity and let us help you through. Help you find true happiness. We can help you find direction in life.
This week I am firefighting
This week I had the LAC review for my 2 younger children. They are 8 and 9 years old. Currently have a care order till 18, although I do still have parental responsibility. I see then for 1 hour a month, at the contact centre supervised. I am currently seeking more contact. Let's say the LAC review didn't go well and I am now extremely worried for my children's mental health. So I decided to use this months hour, to teach them about telling lies as this was highlighted as a problem. We watched a video and discussed the boy who cried wolf. They seemed to take it in, I so hope it helps. I find trying to get to know my children and support them so hard when I only have 1 hour a month. I feel grateful for this hour don't get me wrong. It's just so hard. My heart goes out to every family going through the social services foster care hell. I truly believe that we need to help one another through these tough times. Mental health and poor decision making was a huge reason that my children are not with me now. They are my whole world, I just made a few mistakes. I know why I made them and huge lessons have been learned. If I can help someone not have to go through the loss of a child through the foster care system then I will be happy. Mental health mediation and education are needed.
**We can change the system together.**
Remember: if you don't deal with problems as they arise, they fester and mountains are made out of mole hills.
My Personal values and Beliefs.
My personal Beliefs
I believe in myself and others, I live with positivity and belive the power of positivity can change the world.
My personal core values list.
My YouTube channel will have it all, my whys for everything. Plus the journey I took to find my answers.
1. Family (love) - unconditional love, acceptance and understanding, support. (Make time for them)
2. Understanding - feelings validated and giving validation to others, knowing you are not alone. (Through positivity support & education work)
3. Equality - fighting stigma through education, fund raising to help members purchase creative materials. (Support, understanding, education)
4. Freedom - financial freedom/freedom from oppression. (Have financial freedom for me means to, be free from benefits and be self supported.) We also help others find ways to increase finances through creative outlets.
5. Adventure/fun - Fun for me involves gaming, theme parks, zip lines. Stepping out of my comfort zone for me means going outside in public, but as Yes Theory put it "The when the adventure begins when you step out of your comfort zone". It sends my anxiety through the roof but I am going to try to do a big adventure every 6 months.
6. Community - Positivity Mobile, (Sharing Positivity) giving acceptance, understanding and validation
The Rising star I am trying to add into my life balance at the moment is
7. health and wellbeing. I am a diabetic type 2 in denial, (I eat and drink what I want) I have put on 2 stone since lockdown and my clothes are starting to feel tight. I know I can lose the weight again. I lost 7 stone in total from my heaviest, I can do it by changing my eating habits but I would also like to be fitter. I get out of breath running down the stairs to answer the door. (It's a 3 story building we live in the penthouse apartment). So I am trying to start small with One (30 min) walk/exercise session a week. Slowly increasing to 3 a week.
Change takes time but if it is really worth it, you can achieve anything you put your mind to. I am living proof. Happiness is an option for everyone 😁 with positivity.